Smokes, rain, and therapy

I'm pretty sure that is the best title ever...

These three things are happening in my life right now. One of them I am proud of myself for doing; one, not so much, but I am excusing it by proclaiming (that's right, a proclamation) that it's my right, and I need a little escapism once in awhile. and i'll stop when i move home in 3ish months. The third I have absolutely control over and I am just happy it's happening right now, because I am thankful that our environment can still produce rain and it reminds me of England.

But yeah, life is interesting right now; I write a semi-colon instead of colon because I'm never quite sure just exactly how to qualify and justify that statement. Really great, amazing, God-graced things are happening; really hard, awful, emotionally draining things are occurring too. Some of those things are one in the same. I guess these feelings must rival with a prisoner's who's wrists are finally let free from years in chains: the new-found grace and freedom of movement is exhilarating, but they still have to acknowledge the bare wounds and pain that is a result of being entrapped for so long. (And for those of you who are aware of the still-pretty-new changes in my life, that is NOT what I am referring to. Let's just say I am not going to counseling to talk about my recent break up....)

I'm really hopeful for the future. I am hopeful for where I go next. I am hopeful for new people that I get to meet and for the new relationships that develop. I am hopeful for the disciple of Christ that I am becoming, even though it, frankly (like I'm never not frank), it scares the shit out of me. I am thankful to regain that pure joy in life and in the Lord that I have not experienced for years.

In sum, these two things are defining my life right now:

by far the best album in my life right now...

aaaannnddd, this. oh this:

read this. that's all i have to say. read this and i will talk you through it, if you want.

anyway, that's it. i dearly, genuinely love you all. and if i don't know you, i'm sure i will love you once we get to know each other.
peace.