marriage

(excerpt from my journal entry written in church last night)

Finding a spouse seems like such an arduous, impossible task. A husband, sure, no problem, I can do that. Look pretty, promise fidelity, and savor in the shared passions, food tastes, and moral fortitude. But to find a spouse, a man who is willing to hold my hand as we walk towards the cross together, to never loose sight, to go out into God's coming Kingdom, to run to Jesus? And perhaps start holding some children in our arms while continuing along the path, standing erect in the face of voiced good-intentioned advice and concerns of family members and greater society, tattooing the conviction of the cross on our bodies, which we are wholly willing to sacrifice. How can we find each other (I am concerned with sheer ability here)? How can two people, who are equally willing to commit themselves to each other's discipleship, find each other?

This is what I think Christian marriage should be. I am not so assured in my impending own. What a choice to make...