30 January 2007

redemption

I believe redemption is this:
It’s the liberating, exhilarating knowledge that no matter how many times I’ve been fucked over, I’m still pure. Men can touch me as much as they want, and that will no longer affect who I am; my actions and those actions done against me, no matter how profane, can no longer hold captive my heart and my person.
Men do not define me anymore, neither through pain or pleasure. My person is whole in itself when that self stands before God and says, “You are abundantly and entirely more than enough”. I am free: free to discern, free to say no, free to be strong. I am redeemed.

Just a portion of my heart was in this captivity; or at least, I would like to believe so. If it was just a portion, it was a very big one. It was big and strong enough that upon realizing this, I am close to tears, joyous tears that stream down my checks as worship to my Redeemer. I can finally hear Him say, "No matter what they've done to you, you are still ok. You're still ok. You're still ok. You're still ok...."

1 comment:

m. kayla said...

This is the moment when I decided that God is indeed, a feminist: meaning, God is the only "man" that I need to be whole. This was a very drawn-out and excruciating revelation to have, but the best, because, as I sad before, I finally understood my absolute need for a Redeemer.